Roadtrip: SouthWest. Pt.6
After Mel and I woke up, my eyes in bad shape from days of dry ass climates and a night of cigarette smoke, we got some infamous (vegan) donuts from Ronald's. Yum!
I finally played the $10 my dad gave me to gamble with. In about 60secs, my $10 was eaten by an electronic slot machine.
I cannot understand people pouring money into these machines. At least with card games, there is some element of skill. With slot machines it is essentially throwing money at a casino in hopes that you will be electronically chosen to be the one the casino computer determines should win some money.
Fat Americans love these machines especially combined with cigarettes and alcohol. haha
For lunch, we hit Rainbow's End Health Food Store. It was kinda odd and my raw tacos (not the kind found between women's legs!) took hella long to make because apparently food made with love takes longer than food made with indifference. Nonetheless, these "tacos" were pretty good. It was essentially like eating a salad with my hands.
The other clientele were pretty awesome. That store has got to be near a retirement home!! We saw an old lady irate that her clothes had to be labeled with her name and an old couple resembling some sea Skipper and the pill-taking SNL character. The lady informed us all when ordering that she was constipated.
After a nap and a walk to The Bellagio, we decided to hit our favorite spot Spearmint Rhino again. Knowing what to expect, we aimed to not spend our entire night and morning there again.
My plan was to get several lapdances with at least one of them involving fake boobs. I had never felt implants before and was naturally curious to touch 'em... Even though fake boobs are disgusting.
When my jam, 50 Cent's "Ayo Technology," came on, I jumped up to get near the main stage. I must say I was surprised at getting pulled up into her odd bossom for a dollar bill. haha
Later on as Mel and I were chilling on a couch, that same dancer approached us with another dancer. They did the usual fawning over Mel and asking her if she liked girls routine. They enthusiastically told us how they wanted to dance with each of us. I kinda looked at Mel making her decide and we went for it. They both ended up having fake boobs and gave pretty enthusiastic and hot lapdances. As we handed our fuckin grip of cash to them, they offered to go to the VIP room with us but we informed then of how they broke us. haha
Before the night dragged on too far, I wanted one more lapdance. The hot woman we wanted stayed in some VIP section with an old dude so we gave up on her. This cute dancer approached me and started talking... big mistake. This woman was so fuckin dumb it was painful. She dropped gems such as saying that Chinese women all have long hair and that I looked "mixed." I got the dance anyway (her dancing skills were top notch!)and we bounced.
_____
For our last day in Vegas, Mel and I started it off at Ronald's to pick out over 2 dozen fuckin (vegan) donuts to leave Las Vegas with!
We picked up some music for our soundtrack home (I highly recommend Common's "Finding Forever!").
Then we hit another highlight of the trip: The Gun Store Las Vegas!
This place lets you rent an assortment of weapons including automatic weapons for use on their range. Mel chose the AK-47 and I went with an Uzi and an AK-47 as well.
The place is totally set up for tourists to shoot and get a photo. It was so fast and the range masters did so much for us that it was kinda unreal. We did get to shoot fuckin automatic weapons though!! whoo hooo!
After the full 15 minutes that took, we looked for food.
We went to what has got to be one of the largest Whole Foods Markets in the world!!
This place blew my mind and the salad bar area was amazing. I had one of the best salads that included Gardein some Whole Foods (vegan) fake chicken that rules. When will Berkeley Whole Foods get that shit.
I also don't think I have seen so many cosmetic surgery victims in one place! whoa!
I finally played the $10 my dad gave me to gamble with. In about 60secs, my $10 was eaten by an electronic slot machine.
I cannot understand people pouring money into these machines. At least with card games, there is some element of skill. With slot machines it is essentially throwing money at a casino in hopes that you will be electronically chosen to be the one the casino computer determines should win some money.
Fat Americans love these machines especially combined with cigarettes and alcohol. haha
For lunch, we hit Rainbow's End Health Food Store. It was kinda odd and my raw tacos (not the kind found between women's legs!) took hella long to make because apparently food made with love takes longer than food made with indifference. Nonetheless, these "tacos" were pretty good. It was essentially like eating a salad with my hands.
The other clientele were pretty awesome. That store has got to be near a retirement home!! We saw an old lady irate that her clothes had to be labeled with her name and an old couple resembling some sea Skipper and the pill-taking SNL character. The lady informed us all when ordering that she was constipated.
After a nap and a walk to The Bellagio, we decided to hit our favorite spot Spearmint Rhino again. Knowing what to expect, we aimed to not spend our entire night and morning there again.
My plan was to get several lapdances with at least one of them involving fake boobs. I had never felt implants before and was naturally curious to touch 'em... Even though fake boobs are disgusting.
When my jam, 50 Cent's "Ayo Technology," came on, I jumped up to get near the main stage. I must say I was surprised at getting pulled up into her odd bossom for a dollar bill. haha
Later on as Mel and I were chilling on a couch, that same dancer approached us with another dancer. They did the usual fawning over Mel and asking her if she liked girls routine. They enthusiastically told us how they wanted to dance with each of us. I kinda looked at Mel making her decide and we went for it. They both ended up having fake boobs and gave pretty enthusiastic and hot lapdances. As we handed our fuckin grip of cash to them, they offered to go to the VIP room with us but we informed then of how they broke us. haha
Before the night dragged on too far, I wanted one more lapdance. The hot woman we wanted stayed in some VIP section with an old dude so we gave up on her. This cute dancer approached me and started talking... big mistake. This woman was so fuckin dumb it was painful. She dropped gems such as saying that Chinese women all have long hair and that I looked "mixed." I got the dance anyway (her dancing skills were top notch!)and we bounced.
_____
For our last day in Vegas, Mel and I started it off at Ronald's to pick out over 2 dozen fuckin (vegan) donuts to leave Las Vegas with!
We picked up some music for our soundtrack home (I highly recommend Common's "Finding Forever!").
Then we hit another highlight of the trip: The Gun Store Las Vegas!
This place lets you rent an assortment of weapons including automatic weapons for use on their range. Mel chose the AK-47 and I went with an Uzi and an AK-47 as well.
The place is totally set up for tourists to shoot and get a photo. It was so fast and the range masters did so much for us that it was kinda unreal. We did get to shoot fuckin automatic weapons though!! whoo hooo!
After the full 15 minutes that took, we looked for food.
We went to what has got to be one of the largest Whole Foods Markets in the world!!
This place blew my mind and the salad bar area was amazing. I had one of the best salads that included Gardein some Whole Foods (vegan) fake chicken that rules. When will Berkeley Whole Foods get that shit.
I also don't think I have seen so many cosmetic surgery victims in one place! whoa!
posted by shane at 11:36 PM
2 Comments:
isn't it great?! back in kentucky we used to go out in the woods and cut down trees with converted AK's. so not PC of us...but, we were young and ignorant.
god bless the youth.
You are from KY?
I grew up in Wyoming and when I go back there, we still shoot up melons and such with shotguns and rifles!
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