Office Tales: "Self-Sufficiency"

In what turned into one of the worst experiences at this hellhole of a job, I got suckered into an inpromptu job review with my boss/CEO. I will spare myself trying to write about the bulk of the "meeting" to avoid the sheer illogic and frustration.

The CEO swore to me that he could and would be more self-sufficient to free up my time. He was very keen on introducing technology as a means to make assisting him more efficient. One example he raved about was having meeting announcements automatically texted to him via his Google calendar (which we had already implemented). So the following day I decided to test out how self-sufficient CEO could be. I did not track him down or warn him prior to any phone call he had scheduled. I figured the Google pop-up screen plus receiving text messages 5 minutes before all calls was enough for a self-sufficient CEO. I did go check to make sure he was on the calls 5-10minutes into the scheduled times. Every single time, he was not on the call. When I verbally reminded him, he seemed surprised. One time when I reminded him that he was late to get on a call, he asked who the call was with. I couldn't recall the name so I looked at CEO's desk IMMEDIATELY to the left of his hands and phone and read the info straight off of the printed schedule I hand him every day.
Self-sufficiency, huh?