facebook regret

I remember when I very first sign up for and logged into facebook. I felt like I had stepped into the future… or 1984. How did facebook already know who my friends were and how did it already have photos of me listed?!

Recently, I ventured out of my facebook hermitude and found out that 1)our pasts are inescapable on the internet and 2)some memories and/or past friendships were actually meant to be forgotten. For every time I get excited at finding a 15 yr old photo of myself with long lost friends, there is a time that I run across someone I don’t want to see. When the latter happens, I instinctively click past the page or photo as if they could actually spot and recognize me if I am not fast enough. There are fuckin’ reasons why some people aren’t part of my current life! I don’t need facebook to allow them a window into my world, see who I hang out with, or possibly add me as a friend. And what is this “adding as a friend?” If I haven’t spoken to you in years and neither of us desire a reunion, what is the point?

I used to love collecting my memories as if they were mint condition Star Wars figures. Now I have enough memories to know that not all of them are good. Call it regret. Call it a feeble attempt to not be beholden to my past. Not all memories are the short red Snagletooth that came with the JC Penny Cantina playset. A lot are just the nameless droid not worth keeping.